COOK UPSET HE HAS TO USE GREEN STRIPED TOWEL FOR THIRD DAY

PORTLAND, ME - When coming in for his shift, David Coons was handed his two shift towels, both with a green stripe rather than his preferred blue striped towels. He went on to state, “this is bullshit, man! It’s really going to fuck up my vibe for the rush.” Recently, the Tappy’s Tavern picked up business from a recently closed bar across town and adjustments hadn’t been made to hours to account for the increased traffic. While alcohol sales had improved 12% year over year, food sales have remained stagnant. Nevertheless, kitchen staff have continued to complain about wages over increased sales to the laughs of the management.

“It’s just a stripe. I don’t understand why it would change anything.” General manager Sean Austin, no, not that Sean Austin, stated. He was apparently confounded by the controversy and the effectiveness of the kitchen over a different color of striped towel. “I mean, a towel is a towel is a towel. As long as they get changed with the sani bucket water, I don’t care.” He said with a wink while he flicked a cigarette into a smoke bucket. The Tappy’s Tavern had avoided any critical health code violations for the last two inspections but the change in towels may have compromised this good run.

David threw a towel into a sani bucket and kept the other hidden in his apron for a dry towel which he was protective of. “Here, come check this shit out.” David showed us a pot that nobody used for being too big and also too small. Underneath was a stack of blue striped towels he had been saving for just this occasion. He swapped the green stripe for the blue stripe towel and carried on with his shift. For the rest of his shift, he badgered other cooks to return his towel to high aggression when borrowed. There’s no indication when blue striped towels will return.